一个人 到底应该睡右边或左边 ?? 我 >> 一个人..!!

few days ago,
i was thinking so much things..
it was at nite..
not tat remember wut is d timing already..
i was alone inside the room..
listening to the songs playing on my tt player..
it was F.I.R. songs..
i was waiting for the sms from a person actually..
end up my hp never beep at all..

ways listening to the songs,
my mind flashed back lots of memories..
my past..
which i never shared with anyone ever..
i keep to myself.
because it was a dark one rather a happy childhood..
i just dont wish to remeber back it..

and my 1st knew buddy..
i never have any best friend in my life ever.
from the las las year..
i tot i already found one..
i call him as fish..
we meet up in college..
relationship getting closer when we went camp..
we just so click at that moment.
the next day..
i went to his house.
we shared lots of thing in life and college..
he even told me who he like actually..
but i keep it as secret.
even i know the girl well..
we getting closer and closer day by days..
we shared..
we talked..
we laughed..
i never have friend like this ever.
so tat moment i do appreciated and happy..
but things changed very fast.
since after he chased the girl..
we argue somehow for something...
i stil remember the message i gt from him..
i kept it al..
until the last message from him that nite..
tat time when i saw it..
i cry..
it was been a long while i never cry for a person..
i can b sad, but tears rarely come out from my eyes..
but that time it does..for him!
i know i lost him since after tat..
we no longer closer..
we rarely talk..
we wunt be sharing..
no more lollipop in my life!..
right now, we just a very normal friend..
he successful got the girl's heart that she liked..
this nights,
these memories back to my mind when i listening to the songs..
since after i lost him as i consider him so important in my life as my buddy..
i started to have barriers trusting people..friends..
i dare not get closer with them..
i never imagine someone will care me or treat me good...
i afraid it will happen and ended up like him..
i really scared and i just cant stand it..
i just wana protect myself..
i duwan to get hurt..
i'm just kinda believe that i wont have any buddy anymore..
i will be alone in life..
cox i dare not trust anyone about myself.
i admit sometimes i treat friend too good more than i treat good to myself..
i m just person like that..
maybe it was time i treat myself good..
ya, i admit i hv lots of friends..
but mostly r hi..bye friends more than real heart friends.

lately, i knew someone..
the hamster..
we knew not long ago..
but kinda chemistry or bond happen to us..
we chat quite well..
we getting closer..
ways faster than i expected..
but hw long wil it be?
i duno..
lots of promises made..
will it be last?
i hope so..
i believe him..each words he say..
but..
too many times it happen in my life
and at last i still being left..
i didn't get his message that night when i needed most..
somehow..
i don't wish i too dependent or reply on him.
in facts we never meet before..
and..
expect less from him will make me feel better too..
i very afraid to lose him already.
cox i'm way too addicted to him..
n assume him to be parts stay inside of my life..

i feel so lonely..
i feel i am not being liked by people at all..
somehow, i hate myself..
i do really hate myself, y i cant be likeable by everyone..
i know in facts..some people hate me
some people feel annoying with me.
but i myself i already duno how..
i hate myself..so much!!
all the past just haunted me..
all the sad things just pop out..
my world..
i never have any siblings..
i never in love..
i barely talk my problems with my parents..
i dont have any close or trusted friends...
or sometimes i really unwilling to share or talk..
i m emotional..n sensitive..
i duno what kind of world is this.
i know many others will feel lonely..will ave their own problems.
even they didn't say out or happy all the time from outside.
but i do have my problems..
i'm vulnerable..
i was alone..
i m just not as delightful..happy..hapiness..crazy..noisy.. as u see me..!
d songs has ended,
but my tears stil dropping..
i cry..
but no one shoulder to let me rely on..
but just a pillow..
and my red doggy Patrick to hug..
tat night was long..
and it never seems ended for me..


tonite should i sleep on the left side or the right side??
it doesnt matter, because i'm still alone!!


从皮包里扯出我们的照片
沙发要移到客厅的另一边
晚饭后你可以多抽几口香烟
已经没什么人会埋怨

晴天 阴天 今天又是星期天
唯一的打算是 醒得晚一些
反正我不知道怎样打发时间
出门或不出门 没差别

一个人 到底应该睡右边或左边
两个人 连一次争吵都值得纪念
一个人 偶尔感到寂寞再所难免
你的气味 还留在枕头边

一个人 我重新适应一切不方便
两个人 不一定就成全一个世界
一个人 关灯看见记忆的横切面
没有光线 过去那些情节 更明显

晴天 阴天 今天又是星期天
唯一的打算是 醒得晚一些
反正我不知道怎样打发时间
出门或不出门 没差别

一个人 到底应该睡右边或左边
两个人 连一次争吵都值得纪念
一个人 偶尔感到寂寞再所难免
你的气味 还留在枕头边

一个人 我重新适应一切不方便
两个人 不一定就成全一个世界
一个人 关灯看见记忆的横切面
没有光线 过去那些情节 更明显
...更明显...


o.O SnAkey sAlMon FiShy O.o