Dear mum, I'm so sorry to you..!

I am the only child in my family..
Most of my friends always jealous about me.. that i was the only son in my family.. They always said and thought that i can get whatever i want very easy and my parents will care and loves me..
In facts, actually i didn't got everything i desire so easy.. There will be terms & condition for me to achieve in order to get what i want.. Even like that, at last i still get what i want. So, i always claimed that i am a happiness boy in my family..

My handphone spoil few weeks ago.. It was because the screen broke and i can't do anything with it, even sms or read messages.. Only can received phone call from other people. Actually my handphone also already used for 4 years.. quite old and got problems already.. wish to change! Now, it's my chance.. My friends knew that i'm working.. which meant i have my own salary.. So, they keep asking me to change another new handphone.. want to sms me also cannot.. But, once i got salary, i sure all will gave to my mum to keep it.. Because i knew that my mum will do investment for me save it into bank.. as capital for my future used to further study at university or overseas study.. Moreover, if all the money with me, i know i'm sure will used it very fast and left nothing at last.. No handphone used really a bad thing.. Have to asking borrow handphone from my friends or dad.. Thus , i keep persuading my mum to let me change my handphone.. She promised so.. but she want me to buy cheaper handphone around RM200.. I refused.. Because i know that i just want to own a handphone that multi-function as i am afford for it.. But for sure not 3G or RM1000 and above.. I kept silent...

Today, i'm free. I want to buy a new handphone already.. I'm searching for my ideal phone but it also price that stated in my budjets.. Sony Ericcson Z550i.. Not bad.. So, once i wake up, keep disturbing my mum and dad to buy for me... But, somethings happened.. Once i told my mum, she just answered me no money.. We started quarrel .. She said that what's the purpose i need to buy such an expensive handphone.. RM200 handphone also can used.. Why must buy so expensive..? Furthermore, our house is now in renovation.. used up a lot of money.. really not enough to used.. I am for sure definitely knew about , but i'm also working and i earn my salary.. Why not you used my money to buy it.. She replied i already used many money to buy a lot of things.. As i knew, i didn't.. only used RM500 to brought my shirts for Chinese New Year on February.. It also passed so long.. We keep quarreling and my mum said that i don't understand and care about her.. I really don't understand.. Is it so tough for me to buy somethings i want after my handphone used for 4 years and it was spoil now..? Am my request too much? I don't think so.. We quarrel for a long time.. And she left the dining room.. in a bad mood..

In that moment, I cried.. I really cried! My heart was so painful.. Why everytime when we discuss issue about money, she sure will argue either with me or my dad.. I don't understand.. Maybe we're really having problem on money now.. I don't know.. Hard to understand!! Am i really wrong for this? Am i burden their problem they faced now? I still cried.. I realised i'm wrong.. But the tough things for me to do is to said sorry to my mum, i don't why. But just i have my own reason, should i change my handphone since it was spoil, is this really hard for them to do for me.. No answer!! I just think i'm really 'bu xiao'.. didn't treat them nicely but keep asking for more.. My heart endless with pain and hurt.. A bad mood and bad day for me today!.. My heart still crying..

Should i Quit or Continue..?

Strange feeling...
This question keep bothering my mind after the incident happened..
actually i should said this question had revolved me from the beginning.. when i'm taking this post.. as a TUTOR!

Many people don't believe me when i told them that i'm actully work as a tutor.. at a tuition centre. So, i avoid not to tell anyone if i could. But once they got to know, some of time will feel very shocked.. They looked at me like 'Are you kidding with me? No way!'.. It seems to be like that.. Some of them will keep questioning me.. At the particular moment, i didn't care about this. Because i gone through the interview and utmost important is i manage to get the post as a tutor from my employee.. Sucessfully! It means i should qualify for this..

Now, day by day over.. let me counted, i already had 1/2 years experiences of teaching primary school students. To be frank, i had overcome a lot of obstacles and challenges.. I meant the way how i teaching. I still remember the first time i'm teaching.. When i stepped into the class, the students will look at me and gossiping with friends, 'Who is this person? Our new teacher? Better we keep quiet today'.. They seems really scared of me, obey what i said, paying attention and concentrate in class and very silent.. and this is their reaction for the first day i taught them.. I seems to be really missing this moment! It makes me feel like i'm really love and suit to be a tutor. But starting second class, i lost my confident already.. They started to become noisy in class, running here and there, disobey me, not paying attention to what i teach.. All of them showing their 'tail' and 'real faces' to me already.. Children, for sure it will happened.. So, what can i do? Just to forget about it. Maybe i'm too nicer to them, too close with them.. they might i'm not strict enough, too easy to be 'bully'.. The situation become worst day by day, many parents started to complaint about my class, furthermore i received feedback from my management.. I could just said: I did really have a tough time to teach them..

I could have think about to quit this post, really! But, i do think that i want shows people that i can teach, shows people who underestimate my ability that i can do it!! I started to evaluate myself, the way how i teach..is it suitable or not.. From there, i realised i need to do some adjustments.. I could said that i'm the person who less likely to scold children,but now have to do so. I became more strict in class..Keep scolding them who made noise, but they still not scared of me.. Doing and acting as what they like! Attire, i tried to wear formal at least once a week, to enhance my maturity from appearance.. Let other people and parents feel that there was a professional, experiences tutor teaching my child in class, but not judge me based on how i look like, maybe i'm too young for them, even most of them still questioning me. However, i just do my best everytime even though problems still exist. i really had run out of idea.. How to handle them in class, as i control them but it always seems to be out of control!

Until today, two of my students fight in my class.. serious case for the first time. But, how could this happen in my class but not others tutors.. Only me.. I realised it's my problem.. But i had done what i can done! I want to share all the knowledges with them but it seems they're not willing to do so.. Even i am willing to change my ways and attitude to teach them.. It still happened, still no changes but worst! I almost give up, it just let me feel so weak about myself.. I guess i need more time to gain more experiences to handle the situation more better. But, i did really admit a lot of funs teaching them even though they behave like that.. because they will still call my name, greet me when see me and share their story with me..There is hate but there is also LOVE to ALL of MY STUDENTS..i do care about them..

I guess so i had to found myself a solution..to get rid from all kinds of obstacles..or to think about is this really suit for me? Until this moments, i really had no answers to myself! But, just TIRED!.....

'The Road Not Taken'

Situation : I'm now working.. as a tutor and clerical..
Previously, really no idea how and why?! Maybe because of my curiosity.. At lecture hall that time, there was few SWC members came in and promote their committee.. They will having an interview session looking for new committee members to join them. It just seems interesting to me as i really have no idea what SWC is exactly about.. Because of this, i seems quite interest with it.. Furthermore, my group mates keep saying that they will be heading for this interview.. just for fun and experience.. (actually they joke).. because we know this will not be a easy thing for us to go through it.. Even i'm confident to myself, but we just has no guts and braveness to go ahead for it. Bear in mind, i thought that we will miss the interview.. However, that day after we had our tutorial and lecture class.. so strange.. me and my friends contact each others.. asking whether we should go and try to attend the interview.. Dunno how! Me, mike, yumi and huey ching finally step up to the staircase and reached the SWC room.. Far from outside, we just can see there was a lot of people filling up application form and attending interview inside a room. No choice! Since we made up so far, we just decided to get in there and fill up the form first.. We also met with somebody from SBS (School of Business Studies - Business Administration).. it seems that most SBS students were attending this interview.. After filling the form, me and mike @ yumi and huey ching were being arrange separately for the interview.. Not longer after i hand in my form, mine n mike name being called..that time really don't know how i should express my feeling.. We just get in together and good luck to each others. I met with a senior that in charge of interviewing me.. (didn't get to know his name at last).. First Question : Please describe yourself in two minutes. Deep in my mind.. blank.. what i should said? really no idea.. Everyone will thought that this is for sure an easy question to be handle.. but the facts is actually this is the question that i really can't answer confidently.. because the answer you will be given will determine their first impression about you, either good or bad! I answered it quite careful and slow.. Second Question : Do you know what is SWC actually? i answered him not very clear about it, but it seems somethings related to students and services.. (The correct answer is SWC stands for Students Welfare Committee).. Third Question : Why are you interest to join SWC? No idea but just try it out! Fourth question : SWC was divided into four departments, including activities, P and PR, sports and welfare. Which two of them you will consider and interest to join most? I replied activities @ P and PR.. because i'm the person just love to handle and organize events as i'm also working related to this field. The senior seems quite understand me, he commented that i should join activities as i have potential on this.. I totally agree with it! After that, still got a lot of question i being asked. I just answered it based on my opinion and how i think.. Finally, the interview over. The senior wished me good luck and informed me that i qualify for second interview, my name will be included in the list and paste on SWC board. What, still got next interview? almost wanna die already after the first one.
In between days after the interview over, i just keep staring on the SWC board and checked it out whether the results out already or not once i passed by the area.. Oops! that day i again passed by, the board seems different than previously. Oh, the list was put on the board.. I just go through the name on the list with a positively feeling.. Oh no,almost read until last names already, my name still not there yet. But, i realised that the fifty-eight name stated as Low Sai Weng, Simon .. I rub my eyes, is this true? can't believe it! shocked.. (even i keep thinking that i can qualify next interview without any obstacles - confident to my ability) .. even mike and huey ching had made it to the second interview with me.. sadly only Yumi didn't being selected to the second interview.. But she was still okay and cheerful about this news. Yeah! me, mike and huey ching had made up it to the second interview which numbers of candicates cut off until fifty-eight only. Chances to become a committee of SWC increase and so proud can represent our own school. Not bad!
This day, i wore formal wear to attend the second interview as it written on the list that we had to do so.. I walked into lecture hall.. and everyone just seeing me with special looks and expression on their face. Quite glad that many of them praise me looks very handsome meanwhile they wonder why I wore like this. I told them and they support me. So touch!! One of my close friend, Yvonne commented that i'm too handsome today until she predicted that i could stand a chance to be the chairperson of SWC (even i also think about it before as i knew my own strength and whether i can handle it well or not) - the answer is YES but i didn't think too far yet. Feeling started to be nerve and stress when time is running and almost time for me, mike, huey ching and a friend that just knew not longer in our class named Karen went to attend the second interview with formal wear expect Karen (she didn't get to know about this).. Actually we didn't prepare much also but just act naturally like normal.. Oh gosh! again far from the room, we just could see so many people in formal wear standing and sitting while waiting inside the room. Just the first step getting into the room, i just can sense that a weird feeling and almost out of breath staying inside with so many people.. a bit chaos. Can't stand it! We tried to go outside and relief ourselves. Cool down!!
Waited quite long, around two hours.. finally it's our turn.. me, mike and karen stayed together and encourage each others not to be scared and face it with braveness! Three of us stepped into the room and start interviewed by the chairperson, John Neai and three assistance committee members. John and his committee members will started questioning us and we will answer in a proper ways as Karen will be first; Mike be the second and me for sure last one to answered it. There was a time we dunno what we saying, Karen seems serious, mike just too nervous and used too much body language while me just blur and unable to handle better than i though i can. But, we believed that we already done the best and gave the best effort on it and keep consult ourselves that results is not important but the process through this interview.. can counted as lucky to qualify and came so far until even some people didnt manage to do so.. What can we do at the moment is to wait for their sms reply on Sunday, there was nothing more that we can do at the particular time.

Sunday.. me, Mike, Huey Ching, Yumi and Brian went to Yu Joe's house to do our Hubungan Etnik assignment and have a group study to prepare for upcoming coursework. Before i reached Yu Joe's house, Mike fetch me at Wangsa Maju LRT station. That time, he told me that the morning he already received message from the head of Sport Department of SWC congratulate him that he had been chosen as their committee member.. After i knew about it, i'm definitely felt happy for Mike but in the same time starting feel worry about my results.. Nothing i could do but just keep staring the handphone and waiting for the alert of message received.. Until around 2pm, i finally received a message from Pooi Ji, the head of P and PR departments congratulate me being chosen to be parts of their committee member. Whoa! felt so much relief and grateful that i was being the chosen one. However, i didn't manage to join departments of activities but chosen for P and PR departments even though i'm more interest in joining departments of activities as i prefer to handle tasks or events like Talentime Nite and Orientation Odyssey Nite.. but, i also knew that it was a valuable chances and opportunity that i manage to grab for it. That's why i also didn't blame for it as people can't always get everything they want as what they wished to be happen so. The message also written on tuesday there will be having the first meet up with new committee members on 6.30pm with formal black wear. That time i just realised that i need to choose between continue working or concentrate on SWC performance. I admit i can't have two of them to be done together as there was limit of time and for sure it will be clash on time.

Problems : What should I do now? Which one should i choose now? Which route should go ahead with? What is the best choices for me.. I knew i had to sacrifice something in order to achieve something you aim for. To be frank, i'm working not because i put money first as my motivation to work but gaining the working experience is the most valuable things i had learnt so far which you really can't change anything for it. It also let me be more mature to handle things more well day by day. But i do know that joining SWC definitely can open my eye sight to enhance my communication and management skills in order to gain more experience on handling events or tasks more flexibly and effectively and able to adapt to my future jobs. This really bother my mind and i'm the person who confuse to make a choice or decision as both of them do have a side that attracted me the most. I bet i still need to make up my mind and works out the best for the route that i'm going to choose. Only like this, it won't make me feel regret or sorry to the decision i already made..! I guess so......

Solution : Still pending...!! ^-^

My 1st challenge - Swimming Lesson

Today is my 1st day i attended my co-curricular activity - that is swimming...
The day before, i'm still having flu..quite suddenly..so, i'm bit worried but in the same time feel like better time goes faster as it's my 1st lesson..
somemore,that night when i half way asleep..my mum just called me.Suddenly my foot cramp and it really hurt like almost i lost my both legs..it's so paintful till i cannot describe it..in the midnight almost early in the morning.
With the flu and my legs' cramp happened,i'm not so excited about my swimming class..
Furthermore, the most funny part is i always told everyone that i actually can swim..Why it's funny? Let's figure it out.
My swim lesson supposed to be started at 8.30am.. I went out from my home around 8am.. I did not expected that it would be traffic jams.. Just it really happened. Oh, gosh!!i'm starting to be freak..because there's possibility that i am gonna late for my class..Then, i received call from my friend,Angelina..She said,"Hey,Simon..Where'r you now?".. I quickly replied,"You? I'm on my way..Bits jams in traffic..You will wait for me,right?"..Actually i said that because i hope that she can accompany me and i will not be lonely as she's the one i knew for Swimming Club..
So,what happened?I'm definitely late..For sure..around 10minutes after me and angelina got lost and forgot that we need to purchase sports facilities tickets cost RM1.50 per entry to swimming pool..Finally,we're late..and our coach was having a short briefing to us already..me and angelina were so naive at that time..thought that if we didn't change our attire for our 1st lesson,then we do not need to swim..
But,unfortunately..this has proof us wrong..The coach seems a bit angry with us..Due to the case as i and angelina do not want to replace our class,we just finally change back our attire after some warm-up exercise to prepare start swimming..
On that moment,i just can feel the cold of the water even i haven't jump into the pool..Somemore you know that i'm shy as only parts of body cover by swimsuit..My whole 'skinny' shape body finally revealed and everyone will look at me like that * _ *''..can't stand with it..what to do?!
Ok,the interesting parts had just come..Coach requested us to jump into the pool.Once i put my both legs into that 'cold' water,i'm already start shivering..think so!!Without wasting time and haven't adapt this cold environment yet,our coach start to teach us how to bubbling inside water..Erm,take a long breath..hold it..then,put your head into the water and exhale..I never do this before even it's just a basic part of learnt how to swim..but,this stil an easy part for me,i guess!
But,when times goes by,i'm feeling more cold and COLD..coach seems not willing to give us break even i hunger for it..He just move on to second move which is floating..i'm definitely having a tough time with this,i'm sure my friend,angelina agree with it..inside my mind that time with the 'push' by coach,i have to do it,no choice!no others but only try,try..try and TRY!i knew how to float,but the weird thing is i seems don't know how to recover..but i'm just struggling hardly inside water..Harder than i thought..Coach managed to teach us front floating before giving us break..that time,i almost think that i will vomit as i'm not feeling well might be because swallow too much of water..that 5minutes break is just like my 'safeguard' for me even i knew that it's sure not enough for me and i would just wish the lesson will end sooner..
Out from toilets,still very cold..can't do anything..just follow coach's instruction..really dunno how to do..sumore this time coach taught us back floating..Die,previous move not yet dominate and now have to learn new moves already..Haiz!luckily,i met up wit few great buudy advised and taught me bits about the move..And the most touches part is angelina helps me a lot and keep asking me,"Simon,are you okay or not? Try again and you almost there already!"..so sweet!I really try to brve up myself to do it and not let others thing to bother my mind..But i still lose to panic..and failed times by times..the most terrible thing is i am the only guy need to use a float in order for me to do my front floating move..My godness!shameful..I'm like grabbing it tightly like it's my life,can't let go..Panic in my heart just increase but not decrease..
Finally,our coach decided to let all of us go off earlier..even everyone gone already,just a few left..angelina still with me,encourage me to practice more for a while..I do..failed again but insisit to try..until one time really cannot stand the cold,we also decided to get out from water and practice on others days..Worst again..some of my friens come and see how i am doing on swimming..what she had just see is i'm shivering for cold near the pool..I don't care anymore,just run away from that situation.
Back to toilets to change my proper attire,i'm really seems not feeling too well at all..feel like just want to vomit..
I did told angelina i want to give up..even i'm interest in swimming..It looks tough to me several times and this is just the 1st lesson...I'm thinking how am i gonna stay survive in upcoming lesson..But i think again..few seconds..I realise that what i get through today might be very tough,but meanwhile ain't this will also happen to others people when they first starting to learn swimming..nobody were born to know all things already without learning..I bet to myself..I said to myself..I don't wan to give up just because what i get through now is hard..i want to move forward..i want overcome my fear..I like water but water dislike me,then i have learn more to know about it and be 'friendly' with it..be Familiar wit it..or get used to it as what angelina told me..I dare not give up at this point..i do not want to disappoint and lose to myself..The enemy right now is only ME!If I think i can,then I can!!Be brave to face my challenge..
A big lesson had come to me and i learnt a lot from it..for the next time or future,i surely won't claim myself and talk 'big' to others that i know how to swim in the pool even the last time i swim was when i was still small after this incident happened..Funny right?
Atleast this will not be the last time you will see me swimming in the pool..I promise the next time i will do it more better and i believe 'PRACTICE makes PERFECT'.Cheers!!Thank You to all my fellow friends,especially angelina..
Conclusion : 'Salmon Fish' just really not good in swimming actually..

A Little Speech of Intro..from me!

Hey,everyone...Welcome to my Blog world!
Do you all like salmon fish?i think it is just simply the best!!
I will share all my adventures story..hapiness,sad and etc...at here with all of you......!
Just remember: Yesterday is a HISTORY,
Today is a GIFT,
Tomorrow is a BONUS...for all of us.
So,you must always believe yourself..cause no one will trust you,treat you better more than yourself!!
So..what's we waiting for?Lets get it started!
Salmon Fishy is coming..ENJOY!!^-^@Have Fun.STAY COOL
"Try your best in everything,You definitely can achieve what you want - for SURE!"
- by SALMON FISH