Should i Quit or Continue..?

Strange feeling...
This question keep bothering my mind after the incident happened..
actually i should said this question had revolved me from the beginning.. when i'm taking this post.. as a TUTOR!

Many people don't believe me when i told them that i'm actully work as a tutor.. at a tuition centre. So, i avoid not to tell anyone if i could. But once they got to know, some of time will feel very shocked.. They looked at me like 'Are you kidding with me? No way!'.. It seems to be like that.. Some of them will keep questioning me.. At the particular moment, i didn't care about this. Because i gone through the interview and utmost important is i manage to get the post as a tutor from my employee.. Sucessfully! It means i should qualify for this..

Now, day by day over.. let me counted, i already had 1/2 years experiences of teaching primary school students. To be frank, i had overcome a lot of obstacles and challenges.. I meant the way how i teaching. I still remember the first time i'm teaching.. When i stepped into the class, the students will look at me and gossiping with friends, 'Who is this person? Our new teacher? Better we keep quiet today'.. They seems really scared of me, obey what i said, paying attention and concentrate in class and very silent.. and this is their reaction for the first day i taught them.. I seems to be really missing this moment! It makes me feel like i'm really love and suit to be a tutor. But starting second class, i lost my confident already.. They started to become noisy in class, running here and there, disobey me, not paying attention to what i teach.. All of them showing their 'tail' and 'real faces' to me already.. Children, for sure it will happened.. So, what can i do? Just to forget about it. Maybe i'm too nicer to them, too close with them.. they might i'm not strict enough, too easy to be 'bully'.. The situation become worst day by day, many parents started to complaint about my class, furthermore i received feedback from my management.. I could just said: I did really have a tough time to teach them..

I could have think about to quit this post, really! But, i do think that i want shows people that i can teach, shows people who underestimate my ability that i can do it!! I started to evaluate myself, the way how i teach..is it suitable or not.. From there, i realised i need to do some adjustments.. I could said that i'm the person who less likely to scold children,but now have to do so. I became more strict in class..Keep scolding them who made noise, but they still not scared of me.. Doing and acting as what they like! Attire, i tried to wear formal at least once a week, to enhance my maturity from appearance.. Let other people and parents feel that there was a professional, experiences tutor teaching my child in class, but not judge me based on how i look like, maybe i'm too young for them, even most of them still questioning me. However, i just do my best everytime even though problems still exist. i really had run out of idea.. How to handle them in class, as i control them but it always seems to be out of control!

Until today, two of my students fight in my class.. serious case for the first time. But, how could this happen in my class but not others tutors.. Only me.. I realised it's my problem.. But i had done what i can done! I want to share all the knowledges with them but it seems they're not willing to do so.. Even i am willing to change my ways and attitude to teach them.. It still happened, still no changes but worst! I almost give up, it just let me feel so weak about myself.. I guess i need more time to gain more experiences to handle the situation more better. But, i did really admit a lot of funs teaching them even though they behave like that.. because they will still call my name, greet me when see me and share their story with me..There is hate but there is also LOVE to ALL of MY STUDENTS..i do care about them..

I guess so i had to found myself a solution..to get rid from all kinds of obstacles..or to think about is this really suit for me? Until this moments, i really had no answers to myself! But, just TIRED!.....